I was at a recent family gathering, where younger and older family were engaging in a spirited discussion of economic theories that have shades of gray on both sides of the issue, with really no clear-cut answer, unless you a standing squarely in the middle of the side you are advocating. I listened with amusement for a few moments, and turned my attention elsewhere.
Later, I was asked for my opinion on the matter. I shrugged, and stated simply I have no experience on either side. I have no stake in the matter either way and I didn’t really feel my opinion would have much validity. Truth was, I didn’t feel like the matter needed yet another opinion, especially from someone with so little in the way of facts or experience, such as myself.
As I move forward in my recovery, I am slower to offer up my opinions, and quicker to listen and ask clarifying questions that might help me get to the bottom of things, no matter how murky. I ask God for His help in discerning what is best shared, and when to just “shut it.”
These are my internal notes, taken as I sponsor and share online or informally. I have found that I do not have a “corner” on all the answers, that just because it looks like a duck, if I stop to look more closely and do a closer examination, I’ll find it’s more like a chicken and will need a different approach.
And if I can’t share with honesty and openness, then my sharing is false, pretentious and patronizing. I may not be able to completely understand the depth of your pain, but I will and should always respect it.
There are things that have occurred in my life, that have cut me to the core and made me wonder how I could go on. Most everyone has had something similar happen to them also. Some we share with the world, some we share in small group and some only with our sponsor as part of our 4th step. We are not hiding our pain or being dishonest, but healthy in our boundaries and sharing.
If you are new to the recovery community, welcome. Everyone is welcome. And as you are willing, there is healing and health to be had. If you have been around a while, but are still considering, take the next step. It will only cost you your time. And if you aren’t completely satisfied, you can request a refund on your pain and suffering. But I think you’ll find, like I did, any day in recovery is better that the best day without it.
So, on we go, so ready for Spring! Much Love. 🌹