Well, hello there. I know, where have I been?
When I am stressed, or just feeling face-down in a puddle, as I have been for the last few months, due to seasonal affective disorder and the holidays, the first thing out the door is my writing ability. Or at least the desire to write. Thus, my prolonged absence.
Those of you that struggle with similar issues understand that even things we are passionate about, can be snuffed out by external circumstances and environmental factors beyond our control. That and how our environment interacts with our personal makeup can make for a real doozy of a loop that will end us up face down in a slimy hole. It’s stinky here, and I haven’t been liking it, one bit. But I really haven’t had the energy to do much more that survive it, much less crawl out of it.
So as the weather has slowly been on the improve, and I have been disciplining myself about sitting in front of my fake-sun box, I have begun the slow crawl out.
My recovery tools help me keep suiting up and showing up for required items, such as work, meetings, church and showers. But writing requires a creative energy that comes from a different place. It is not a duty, like brushing my teeth or loading the dishwasher. It is a labor of love and an expression of the deepest places of my heart. That is why it goes into hibernation when my creative spirit contracts with the adversity of my environment. There just isn’t any additional juice to spare.
But bit by bit, like trees trying to bud out in the spring, I have faith that things will flower and flow once again, this entry being proof to that end.
Much love my friends, I’ve missed you all.