Layers. We dress in layers to keep warm, and shed them as the temperature changes, revealing different clothing more suited to the current conditions. Thus, it is with our recoveries.
Right now, I am starting on another layer, this one relatively thick, and filled with self…self-delusion, selfishness, self-importance, self-reliance…you see where I am going here?
Self is my main problem in addressing the present brick in the road. I have determined that I must be willing to look at the logging truck lodged in my eye before I can move forward with assisting others with the toothpicks stuck in theirs.
My first step, as out lined by my sponsor seems to be the most difficult…get this – I have to eat all my meals at the table. No standing in the kitchen, or sitting on the couch. No attending to TV or other distractions either. This has made mealtimes very interesting, to say the least. My dining room table has mainly served the function of a place to put centerpieces, candles and mail…and to set the grandchildren at with their food so I don’t find food-gitives all over the house.
But to sit, with just my meal and I? Huh. Okay.
It’s really blowing my mind.
So, I am working at being abstinent, which in this case means sticking to my eating plan and then reporting how it’s going to my sponsor or other accountability peeps. With this in mind, I am finding myself having to confront some stuff…but more on that later.
Have a lovely Sunday afternoon.