Yes. It’s been awhile. No, nothing’s wrong. I guess the summer has just been a bit crazy and I have been letting my schedule run me around, and with my focus on dealing with my food and emotional issues, it has kind of taken it out of me.
Some interesting news, however, I am singing back-up in a band, and I really love it. Mostly because I give myself permission to sing like no ones listening except God and myself. And I don’t care so much what I sound like anymore. My self-consciousness has flown the coop where my singing is concerned, though I have asked the band mates to show me the door if I am obtrusive or detract in any way from the art of the whole.
So that’s my story right now. Oh, and I have been reading up on writing my book, getting ready to publish, and some of the experts are saying that you shouldn’t use your readers as a therapy group (!). Hmmm, well, too late now! But seriously, I really don’t expect you to be my therapy group. I have all along believed that you, my readers, are walking this journey with me, and that we grow and learn together.
I am not looking for you guys to fix me up. That’s an inside job between God and I as I work my program. And if there are “fixers” in your life, smile, be polite and move along with your program. Pray that they come to an understanding that not one of us can fix anyone else. Love won’t do it, money won’t do it, none of the material things that we have to give will “fix” a habit. Only seeking to submit the issue to God and have others keep us accountable even begins to move in the direction of better health.
Anyway, I will continue to work on trying to check in more often. Just know that I will not write a bunch of flowery nonsense just to say I wrote something. I believe in the power of God’s inspiration to speak to us through the recovery process as we each share, whether it is through writing, talking or some other means. It has a timetable that is organic and ordained.
Much love to you all tonight.