So, it’s been several days since I’ve written anything, beyond work stuff. I have felt pretty inundated there, and finally tonight I am coming up for air. I have also decided to start being a bit more intentional about my food. This has caused me to be a little more edgy. Fun times.
Found myself at an impasse in my recovery lately, and decided to add another discipline to my program to see if it may help me to make sense of the onion layer I am now finding somewhat stubborn and unyielding. But really, who am I kidding? I am the one who is unyielding. And as long as I remain unwilling and resistant to the changes God wants to make in my life, I will be in a less-than peaceful, joyous and happy state. I will thrash, struggle, moan and whine to anyone who will listen about my pitiful state.
This I have done for months now. Even I tire of the noise I make complaining about what I refuse to confront. So, enough of this. Next week I start a new journey with a 12-step program that is known for its rigor and structure. But maybe it’s just time. So, I will give it a go. Why? Because it is the only thing that is making sense in my recovery journey right now. I won’t let fear of the unknown or procrastination get the better of me and drive me into hiding any longer.
It has been a great journey thus far, and codependency is a well-worn recovery path for me. Food and inappropriate use of food is not an easy issue for me. There are so many punji-stick traps as I walk along this trail. But I have to get serious, because I don’t want my life cut short by poor choices.
I will continue to blog my journey, but it may have a different flavor, no pun intended. I have enjoyed the time we have all spent together thus far. I hope you will stick around, even if I can’t share as often as I would like, it is always real and from the heart.
Much love, and God’s blessings to all of us tonight.