True story. Was really feeling like I had little more to write about, and struggling to find relevant topics to cover in this blog. I am not certain folks are interested in the outcome of us sorting our garage, or that fact that we are fostering some tomato plants with mixed results.
But this morning, I feel like my head is over-full of things I want to put on the page. So much so that I am working hard to discipline myself to one topic at a time, instead of just spilling out my guts in a random fashion.
(per the spouse, this entry is affectionately called “Sanity Check”)
In the last few days, it has been made abundantly clear to me that my recovery journey has always been guided by the hand of God. When I am yielded and submitted to the process, He is the one who shines the light on the next right thing. No matter how much I yearn for the approval and praise of others, my vertical relationship with my Creator is where the rubber meets the road. I will always strive to live at peace with others, so much as it depends on me, however, nowhere in recovery or in the Bible does it say make yourself presentable to others so that God will like/love you more. Period.
Possibly by now you have surmised that I used to be an approval addict, along with everything else. Seeking to live by someone else’s standards to get “attaboys” will only deepen my discontent, because the happiness from the approval is momentary. And the dejection from the indifference or disapproval lasts for a long, long time.
My stand has and continues to be one of walking out my Christian faith in recovery, which I view as a process of sanctification with my Creator. I believe in the essentials (see apostle’s creed) and allow that there are many views on non-essentials that are between the individual and God, and that over all things, love for each and every person, as they are created in God’s image, regardless of belief system, or lack thereof.
Because it is important to me to be a person who is just plainly who I am, and living it out by example, I won’t be telling you that you must do this or you can’t do that. I will write about my experiences, insights and encourage us each to ask questions in our recovery that pull us into digging deeper. God gave us a brain, and we certainly should be using it.
With respect to recovery and personal core beliefs, we must always be studying and making the effort to understand why it is that we pursue and follow any system. Is it the right choice for us? Is it working and what is God leading us to next? Just because we’ve always done something a particular way, doesn’t mean we have to stay in that attitude. Use your prayer and meditation time, study, talk to others and know why you are pursuing the path you are on. It helps me to write it out, and discuss it with people I trust, who will not try and argue, but who will listen and maybe ask questions.
Hope you have a restful and thoughtful day.