Today was pretty good, for all the right reasons. Got to enjoy some good family time, and good food. Also spent some time with a dear friend and recovery sister, who knows me well, and how to both support and call me out on my stuff.
When life is giving you lemons, by the truck load, you need someone to help you figure out the measurements for making lemonade out of all of it, or at least where to store the lemons for later. I confessed several items that were causing me to feel blocked and sad, and she did the same. We reasoned together, pulling the tools from out of the bag of our lives, passing them back and forth in a careful but determined manner. I’m in it with her, she’s in it with me.
My sharing was focused in on anxiety and fear with respect to digging in deep with others. My trust has been broken so many times I find it tough to go there again. So I laid bare my deepest fears that had been waking me in a panic, and keeping me from engaging in new ventures. It felt like a huge relief to speak it out, and to not continue to carry it inside on my own.
She doesn’t just smile and tell me everything will be okay, blowing sunshine and happiness up my bloomers, or how much so-and-so is a rodent whose parents never married (lol). She does listen, and encourage me to look at things from a different light. To focus on my progress and my growth. And to redirect my thinking away from isolationism, fear and cutting off contact with the world in order to protect myself from being hurt. I saw in my mind’s eye a stack of tiles with the fears and anxious thoughts written on them, tied in twine and set at the foot of the cross. I am allowing the sacrifice of Christ to wash them away, because they are too heavy and burdensome for me to continue to carry any longer. For me, this is a part of the process.
In the same way, we talk about her struggles, family and ministry. I give the best feedback I can, because that’s how we work this thing called recovery. And God wants to show her how much He loves her by encouraging her to keep going, using me as I am willing, using her as she is willing.
Mind you, there was plenty of sight-seeing and yummy things tasted. Some selfies and some beautiful views, and God was there to keep us wrapped in a warm hug to comfort both our weary spirits. He never fails to show up for those who earnestly seek His face.
On the ride home, it was all about gratitude. We acknowledged how blessed we are, and that there are those that pray daily for what we have right now.
We need each other to work the process of recovery. The journey is best travelled together, and to share the lemonade. Much Love.