A no-work/no day-job-day for me, and my eyes sprang open at 5 am. The mind began to spin and it was over. No amount of “go back to sleep” visualizations were helping either. A lot of times, I can just start thinking of a sunny beach somewhere, and poof, back to sleep. Not this morning. My thoughts ricocheted about like a bullet in a metal drum.
Up and about, making coffee, I pondered a movie I’d seen recently. Produced by the hit-making folks at Marvel, the super hero we are introduced to is a bit different than the typical made-in-a-lab type. His backstory and how he becomes a super hero is fascinating. The whole “must fight bad guys” plot is secondary. This character starts out as a self-possessed, highly intelligent, but selfish person who is laid bare by an accident. He is forced to reckon with the fact that all his intellect can’t fix what’s wrong with him, not only physically, but spiritually. A force from outside of himself ends up being the answer, and at the end, he must decide if he uses this power to give back to the greater good, or to make himself well, and go on with his previous life.
If you’ve seen the movie, you know which one I’m talking about. There’s actually a lot of recovery themes in it that I could spend several entries on. If you haven’t, it’s not incredibly important, because we see it a lot in recovery. People come to meetings or fellowships, broken, stripped bare of the life they thought they knew or had, no control, no sense of which way is up. Then recovery begins to takes hold, spirituality is established and the steps are worked. But at some point, the pain becomes too distant a memory, and the desire to be “like everyone else” beckons.
Each of us are faced with that choice. Do we close the chapter and hope that the work we’ve done sticks and that we will not end up back where we started, only worse? Or do we stay to hold out our hand to someone else who has wandered in, dazed, looking for the answers that someone helped us find?
The Word says in Galatians 6:9 “So we must not grow weary in doing good, for in due time we will reap, if we do not give up.”
A complete recovery program for most of us includes giving back to the program that helped us get well. Because it keeps us fresh in reminding us where we could each be if it were not for working the steps and principles on a regular basis. Like regular exercise, If I am not going to the gym and doing those pull-ups every day, pretty soon, I won’t be able to do as many, or even one. Now, before you get all impressed, I don’t do pull-ups at the gym, that was for illustration purposes only!
I know for myself, that whether I “feel” like it or not, I need to keep going to meetings. I need to involve myself in the lives of others as an accountability partner or sponsor. That while I believe myself to be well-read, I will continue to read recovery literature and the bible and let it speak to me, because like a river, I am not the same today as I was yesterday, and these will each affect me differently each time I experience them, as I am willing and yielded.
Much love to all as we journey together.🛤