A beautiful weekend. And not just because it stopped raining for more than an hour. But because we celebrated that fact that we have a lovely, profound gift of love that is at the very core of our recovery. During the winter months, we celebrate the birth of Jesus, and in the Spring, we celebrate His death, burial and resurrection.
Spring brings rebirth. A promise of growth, longer days, and warmer nights. In agriculture, Spring is a time to plant. If there is to be a harvest later, there must be planting and preparation now. This is what the process of recovery teaches us. We plant seeds and cultivate the soil with solid work as we seek after God and His healing in our lives. Working our steps, meeting with one another and staying connected with God to know His will for us. We will then see a harvest of serenity and peace. (I’ll cover the 9th-step promises in another entry.)
I can remember a time in my recovery when I would dream about peace and serenity. Like you dream that someone shows up at your front door with a check for a million dollars from some contest you don’t remember entering and “bam”, you’re on easy street. That’s how remote it seemed to me back then. But if others could achieve it, why couldn’t I? My story was certainly chaotic, but no more so (and in some cases, less so) than theirs, so I dug in.
But recovery is not all rainbows and sunshine. There are set-backs, hard times and rocky places. This is the narrow path, the way to who we were created to be. The wide, slippery path that seemed so easy actually ended up bringing me to my knees. But, like the Israelites out of Egypt, I can sometimes miss the “meat and bread” while in captivity to my addictions and dysfunctions. I know there are some days that I am a little petulant about having to press in to the process. I would much rather curl up on the couch and watch a show than go to a meeting, or dig into a problem I am experiencing.
And we will continue to experience stuff. Stuff just doesn’t go POOF because we love recovery, we love Jesus or we go to 90 meetings in 90 days. Those are all GREAT things. But the Word says in Romans 12:12 to be patient in affliction. This means there will BE affliction. Our pre-recovery selves spent a lot of time running from pain and affliction. But escape was always temporary. And, regardless of what I run to, it never truly satisfies. The tools in recovery teach us how to deal with affliction and such, versus run away and hide out.
These days, I have more peace and serenity than chaos. However, no one has shown up at the door with a large check! 😉 But I know that chaos is not far away, and that I must remain on guard and not let myself become complacent.
I am grateful for the steps. I am thankful for a loving God who is the engine of my recovery, and brings the “next thing” into view that I might continue to grow. He reminds me that while I may have to face what I fear, I never walk it alone. A blessing indeed.
Much love and, grace to all of you today.