I gotta say it. Today the sun came out after what seemed like weeks of rain and I felt so encouraged. I physically felt pretty good, so on to get stuff done. I hope to write a number of entries in between all the running about today.
In a meeting I attended, we were being encouraged to speak positively over our circumstances. Now, this is a challenge for yours truly, because I come from a family of origin that loved to talk a big game, but when it came down to it, things usually ended with a fizzle, and not with the plans as intended, no matter how grand the intention. This caused me to become a realist (read: cynical) very early in life. I looked at circumstances as a challenge that I needed to have a survival plan for, not as opportunities for blessing and good. It helped me at the time to avoid being crushed by the inevitable disappointment that would follow from getting my hopes up because I depended on undependable people.
As I have embraced recovery from codependency, I have come to the realization that all people will let me down, and that my dependence on them for happiness and joy will always result in disappointment. It will perpetuate my negative view and “bunker mentality” and block my ability to embrace the good God wants for me in my life from depending on Him.
Now, back to the meeting. While listening, I was struck by a verse that I have often quoted, but never really dug deep on. Proverbs 14:1 about the wise woman. It speaks to building up your house, or tearing it apart with your own hands. It occurred to me that my house wasn’t just my family or my marriage, but my inmost being. I could build up my “house” by positive words, people and the recovery tools I’ve been given, or I could use negativity and reactive defensiveness to tear myself apart. My choice.
So, my challenge is to work on this from the perspective that God wants to see me building my house up. He didn’t give it to me with the intention that I should pull it apart with negativity and cynicism. I believe continuing to keep up on regular home maintenance, and even overhauling parts that become outdated over time with God as my project manager.
Love you all. 🌞😎