Driving down the road earlier today, I began thinking about how cars are made. Planes too for that matter, actually anything mechanical. I know that gears and motors that make a conveyance run are manufactured with a set of specifications, or tolerances. Meaning, each piece fits together with certain measurements that cannot be too far away from fitting perfectly so there can’t be room for slop. So, if a piece isn’t machined just right and doesn’t fit together just right, the mechanical item will not function properly.
Our recoveries work much the same way. When I don’t follow the specifications, and things don’t fit together well, or I allow a lot of “slop”, then things don’t work as designed. This was certainly the case five years ago, when I allowed a half-inch of room in between me and what I knew to be right. It all happened so fast. All I can say is that within a very short amount of time, I was in way over my head and had no one to blame but myself.
But that is how addiction and dysfunction works. All it takes is a little bit of slop, a little bit of gap and pretty soon we can’t even put the pieces together. Recovery gives us the tools, and the specifications for the machine to work properly, that is, our lives. Our recovery fellowship helps remind us that tolerances have to be close, that things have to fit together tightly and that we have to keep our recoveries well-oiled and in good working order.
Sometimes, I have found my program feeling a bit processed, you know like those containers or packages of processed cheese-food. However, it’s what’s necessary to keep us from self-destruction. That might sound odd or strange, but go with me here. I need the patterns, the people, and the reinforcement of healthy behavior.
I have heard it said just a couple of days ago that addiction and addictive behaviors sit on our shoulders doing push-ups, waiting for weakness in our resolve to stick with our new-found healthy lifestyle. That’s why I will continue to seek to keep my recovery fresh and relevant. And even when I have the blahs, I will confess it and move forward.
So glad we are making this journey together. 💗