Sunny day, loving it…but I need to get to the meat of this entry.
I am presently doing other things online, but this is now in the front of my cerebral cortex, so buckle up. 🙄
As we journey through recovery, we establish new relationships and (in some cases) build new “families”. I am just wondering how many of us out there are bumping into seeing each new acquaintance as either a “charge”, that is, someone to be helped or that needs something from us, or an “elder” or parent-type figure, due to the deficiencies in our own upbringing or present lack of mentorship in our lives. If my codependency recovery (or other type of relational recovery) is not solidly on track and well-balanced, I run the risk of looking at myself as less-than and in need of others to complete me, either as a provider of goods and services, or as needing direction, approval and praise. This is dangerous relapse territory. It means that I consider myself to be without peers that are in this with me. I begin to feel isolated and fearful that I will be worthless outside of my ability to provide function, and to be recognized for my functionality and capability = CODEPENDENT.
Yes, this is a big entry, and if I were to say it, a big mouthful, but if I am to break the chains of fear and declare myself free and in recovery, then I must be willing to, live-time, share what pops up, bubbles up, call it what you will.
I am just as capable, worthy and lovable (after my coffee!) as any of the people I meet. Whether I get a little star-struck and think they have it all together, or start feeling maternal and that someone needs my help, nearly everyone puts their pants on one leg at a time. We all have so much to learn and gain from each other.
Dear Lord! Help me with this character defect and continue to bring people into my life that will mirror and example the kind of behavior that is healthy and honoring, to God, myself and others.
Much love to each of you.