Loving the process

It’s really cold. Frosty, chilly, just plain cold. Yikes! Every bone is my body is crying out for a ticket to warm water and a beach.

In my quest for better health and fitness, I did make it to the gym, did my usual workout and added some core exercises to start building strength. I was really pretty worn out after though. While I was at the gym, I decided to break up with the scale. I am choosing to look at the scale as something the doctor uses and a tool to manage my health, like the number of white blood cells or some other number that really won’t be relevent to me outside of a medical context. I am choosing love of what I am doing for myself, over browbeating or some other mental game I play with myself when I step on the scale. We’re through. Still plenty to get done today. So I headed home to shower, change and off to the hospital to see a dear friend.

In spending some time during the visit with my friend and in the midst of the chit chat, I could see a concern in her eyes. I recognized it, because I’ve felt it too. As aging happens, our bodies decide to speed up the process of deterioration, whether we employ good habits or not. Sometimes things are just out of our control. And I know for me that has caused me a lot of fear. Now, someone else is calling the shots and I no longer have the 100% say in my situation. It’s like being in a car, blindfolded, and only being told 50% of where you are headed. Oh, and you can’t fasten the seatbelt.

What can I do? I will do what I can to keep these years as healthy as they can be, without becoming completely obnoxious and bizarre, but also work on my acceptance in recovery, so that hopefully I will not fight too hard and be a pain to those charged with helping me when the time comes.

But for now, it’s getting close to bedtime and tomorrow it’s another day to workout. And drink my water and act like I love my body. And I feel good about this. Recovery in action.

So glad you are here, have a lovely evening!

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