In coming close in to the natural world earlier today, I found myself drawn up into a trail that was only partially visible in and amongst the fallen leaves. But the quiet and lovely solitude beckoned and I couldn’t resist the opportunity to become a part of the scene. It was a challenge to complete the short hike into the rugged terrain, but totally worth it, even with the reported black bear sighting in the area. I felt refreshed and invigorated.
Even when I am not sure of my way in my spiritual journey, I sometimes feel pulled, or called to keep stepping forward. As long as the doors remain open and God is prompting, then I am to go.
I do suffer from a tad bit of timidity. I always have. I was the kid that would be last to try something new, out of fear I would either get hurt or get in trouble. I just wasn’t very confident about things in general, and about myself in particular. I did survival level items, of course, because that’s what kids of chaotic environments do. They do what is necessary to survive, but it’s like we use up all the chutzpah doing that, and have none left over for the invention of self. I was so consumed with preserving self, I never considered stepping out beyond the safety of what I could see.
But in recovery, God is teaching me faith that knows no limits, because that’s how God expects me to live so I can be of maximum service to him. It is difficult, if not nearly impossible to be effective for the kingdom if we are cowering under a rock somewhere, our minds and hearts consumed with fear of giants and monsters. Recovery set me free from that life. I am grateful every day for that gift. However, it’s only through a diligent pursuit of the principles and steps, going to meetings, reading my literature, prayer and mediation, reading God’s word, along with frequent contact with those I trust, are the dark shadows of fear kept at bay. If I allow any slack in these areas, fear and anxiousness is waiting eagerly to reassert it’s claim on my life, and drive me back into a hole, where it keeps me prisoner, trapped and helpless.
Living in the steps, experiencing sanctification through the principles is the greatest version of who I am. No other pursuit comes close. Because I get to live the truth in love, and wrap my heart up in the perfect care and protection of Christ who will walk with me through each sorrow and victory. I am never alone.
So glad my good friends that you are walking with me on this lovely journey.
Have a lovely day.