It rained like there was no tomorrow today. I drove over a patch of roadway and the splash-back covered my windshield, causing me to have to fight the instinct of every cell in my body to slam hard on the brakes, knowing full well I would likely spin out of control and possibly into another vehicle. So, for a good 3-4 seconds, I drove forward, unable to see anything at all. But the water cleared and thankfully I and the car were no worse for the experience.
Sometimes I feel my life is a lot like my experience in the car. I am proceeding along, when all the sudden, something interrupts my vision, and I can’t see the way ahead. It might be a family circumstance, or a part of my recovery that has bubbled to the surface as a result of a trigger episode.
For those unfamiliar with triggers, this can be anything in your world that, without warning causes you to become panicked, worried or angry and could result in acting out. It can be very similar to PTSD symptoms. Recovery helps me temper my reaction into a response. It gives me the option of fighting my natural (some would say knee-jerk) reaction to the trigger in wanting to “slam on my brakes”… that is, run, hide, or even lash out at the source of the negative stimuli.
Mind you, I am not always successful in deploying my tools. Sometimes I am tired, distracted or already so strung out by stress that I can’t even get the tool box opened before I am one big reaction-fest. But by and large, I am more often winning the battle and responding in a healthy way to the unexpected speed bumps and splash-backs in my life. And as confidence builds, more victories will be won. And even when I spin out and end up on the side of the road out of breath and clutching the steering wheel, God and my recovery family are there to calmly remind me that this was just a skirmish, that the war has already been won.
Thank you Lord Jesus. So grateful for new starts, new opportunities and your mercy.
G’night dear friends.