The sun is shining and someone hit a tree with their car near our house and took off, nearly killing the poor little fir. We hope it survives.
Some days are just hard. You just come to a corner, and have to speak the truth, no matter how it sounds. And own the responsibility for sometimes just making the wrong choice for the right reasons. Even though a course adjustment is called for, it is not necessary to get out a chart and graph with visual aids and explain yourself. Often times this is where my greatest anxiety comes from. The realization that I need to change course, or make a new start and then having to justify everything to those around me in order to obtain approval or at least just avoid disdain. Yikes! People-pleasing has reared it’s ugly head once again.
Am I so concerned with how others will perceive who I am? Will I tie my insides up in knots to impress them with my choices? Or will I allow myself the the freedom and grace to fail spectacularly, learn from the experience and move on, without obsessing on who might be sitting in judgement of how I accomplish this? I choose to own my stuff, speak my truth and move forward. Whatever that means. However it looks. And I know that as long as I am ready to grab hold of hope and have faith that every day is a new opportunity to do a bit better, then it is enough for me. That, my dear friends, is called living by faith, not by sight. Because if I just go by a “white’s of their eyes” approach, I will crawl under the bed and never come out. There’s little reason to. Because without my recovery tools, my God and my recovery family, there is no hope for a better tomorrow, just more of the same. And that’s just not good enough for me. God’s got me, and I trust in that. He loves me, and I trust in that, too. I can change and be a healthier, happier person if I am willing to be conformed to the principles of recovery and sanctification, but that is my choice. I choose for today to be willing. I choose the steadfast love of my creator God.
Many blessings to you this beautiful Sunday.