The rain hit yesterday and the winds started in early this morning. But they are somewhat intermittent, so nothing to get in a panic over. getting in some writing while I am out and about in various places, definitely not in my usual comfy spot on the couch with my feet wedged on the ottoman.
But sometimes, I need to let myself get pushed (or dislodged if you will) out of my comfort zone. This allows me the opportunity to see things differently, to view myself differently.
In a recent conversation I had the opportunity to speak some hard truth. About what I need, but also about my responsibility in being part of how relationships grow and develop. Just because someone is in a relationship with me, it does not mean they are solely responsible for my satisfaction in the elements of the relationship. I have to be mindful of my contribution, and when things are not right for any reason, calling it out. With gentleness, and humbleness, but firmly. And with persistence, not losing sight of my own worth in the situation. For me, I have to watch my tendency to subvert my right as a person loved by their creator in favor of someone else’s pain or challenge. Certainly there are times we sacrifice things in the name of peace, love and other noble things. But if this becomes an ongoing theme and starts to build anger and resentment, then red flags should pop up from every corner of our being. Recovery has the ability to install in us a “I don’t have to live like this” or, to put it more simply, a “POOP” detector. It helps to alert our insides that something needs changing. That our new, changed life is being assailed by the corrosive garbage that used to poison our old life.
A word picture comes to mind in these situations. Remember stop, drop and roll from elementary school? It’s what we were all taught when or if we were to ever catch fire. I look at my dissonance in recovery the same way. First, stop what you are doing, look at what’s going on, talk to those you trust in recovery, get good counsel. Drop those things that no longer serve a purpose in moving my recovery forward. This could be people, places or things. Roll forward with a fresh purpose in your recovery. Ask in prayer and meditation time for God to turn your mind and heart toward unaddressed areas in your life so that you can peel the next onion layer.
It’s been an interesting morning, for sure, and the weekend promises to be full and a bit active, but I look forward to what God is up to. May I remain willing and flexible.
Happy Friday! Stay warm and dry, batten down those hatches, if you got ’em. 😃