Rainy, windy and kinda chilly. But that’s okay. Working on “weather acceptance”. Chuckling to myself, as this marks a new chapter in my attempt to quit whining about how much I hate the weather when it turns rainy and cold.
Today, I find myself struggling with acceptance of another kind. We have a saying in recovery circles “it’s not any of my business what other people choose to think about me”. But I do sometimes find myself getting pulled into the concern of what others think. Especially those in recovery. People who I know, who have been inclined to roll their eyes about decisions and actions of others.
But, here’s the thing.
I didn’t get into recovery just to find a different circle of people to impress with my life. Before recovery, I had a complex and mind-numbing facade going that nearly drove me to the end of myself in trying to court the favor of others. In 2013, I left that frightening, dark and unfriendly world behind me and entered into the open life. The life of what I am, is what I am. What you see is all there is (mostly). And I am not going about my business to try and get your approval for my decisions. I am the one walking out this life. I will most certainly seek counsel and the best wisdom I can, but in the end, that is defined as informed decision-making, not approval.
For if I am looking to someone or a group of someones for approval, then I have placed them and their judgement in the driver’s seat. God’s Word says that we should not judge, so to extend that to it’s next logical step, we should avoid the urge to subject ourselves to each other’s judgement. Wise counsel, yes. Ultimate approval-seeking, no.
I appreciate that there will be many shades and nuances as you read this. But I am fiercely guarding my hard-fought independence from people pleasing and approval seeking. I will act as the Spirit leads and as my heart of hearts has laid it out to me. To honor God, myself and others. Beyond that, I make no promises. No one but Christ will be standing with me before God, and I have full confidence in His protection and redemption in my life. The goal, to live the authentic life He called me to. With love, grace and courage.
Much love to you all.
Have a lovely weekend.