So, we have now passed the 50th post on this blog. I should be thrilled. But this honestly has been a pooper of a day.

I have been applying non-stop at jobs that I am (mostly) qualified for, some I am over-qualified for and I have gone out on a total of 2 interviews in 3 months. I just found out that I am not the candidate of choice for the most recent opportunity, and I am bummed. Really bummed. Because I have to wonder if it’s due to something wrong with my resume, my experience or my age. It has been hard to put my grief and disappointment aside, especially after the injury of last month, and the events of the last several months.

In talking to someone in the HR field the other day, I found out the phrase going around for the gen-X’rs is “don’t lose your job”. Why? Because it’s hard to find another one when someone who is early in their career and less expensive to hire is available and you are competing with your salary history and years of experience. It is truly disheartening. So I am having to push myself through the molasses and peanut butter of sadness and fear of this moment toward acceptance so I can keep going.

This applies to any disappointment or situation where we find ourselves in crappy circumstances that we are unable to change. I can’t wave a wand and become 30. I am what I am, and I am waiting on God’s provision by applying for any and every thing that I might possibly be a fit for and that isn’t a nightmare commute. What I am really hoping for though, is a forever job. A true vocation or calling that I can stay with until I am unable to work any longer. I am trying to hold fast to that ideal, but I also am aware of the reality that I may just need to take whatever presents as the best next option with health insurance.

Thank you my friends for reading. In writing this out, I actually feel a bit better. Not that I have any more solutions or ideas, but sharing is always better than bottling it up or cracking open a pint of ice cream.

Much love and sweet dreams.