Good evening dear friends. Wanted to catch up with you as we get ready to close this month (4 weeks) worth of blog entries.
Today was a cool, cloudy day, and I reflected on conversations I have had in the past couple days that have revealed some things to me.
One, I now feel much stronger in my feelings of personal presence, that is, that I am who I am meant to be and that I am fit to function as I was made to. Second, some things in my past that, while dealt with on one level, are still very much a part of who I continue to be emotionally. It only takes a situation or conversation to “trigger” the feeling or emotion and I am off to the races. In my case, I was emotionally and spiritually *abused for many years in a series of relationships, and I have some elements of post-traumatic stress disorder. I have seen therapists, gone to groups and the like, but truly, once I had the tools to deal, it has been a function of time and walking through the “trigger” episodes with marbles intact and not pulling an old dysfunctional coping mechanism out of the bag (insert hide under bed here). Thankfully, my recovery and my strong fellowship has allowed me a wide variety of tools, one of my favorites is talking to a safe person about certain specifics that are bothering. This relieves the immediate fear, and brings me to a place where I can start putting the objective pieces back together again.
So that’s what the last couple days have been about.
The next 4 weeks will be more topical and relational (that’s the plan, anyway) and I will be wrapping up my use of the number scheme. It was fun, though, huh?
Glad you have stuck with me, and welcome to my new readers. Heading to bed, hope this post finds you tucked in and at peace. Sweet dreams. G’night.
*for any of you out there struggling in an abusive situation, there is help. Please don’t go it alone. You are precious, loved and worth so much more.